You dont know

I'm not the type of person who falls in love with someone easily. never... I'm used to being alone.
You dont know why I had to treat you in that way. You dont know how much I loved you. Actually, even I didnt know that at that time. I didnt know that I loved you when we were together. After you left, I realized that how much I loved you. I was stupid.. How couldn't I know that? Well.. I might have known that. I just might wanna avoid falling in love with you for many reasons. I thought that was the best. But now, still, I miss you. You dont know why I cant tell you anything.. okay, I'll be busy. I have to be busy. So I have to do somthing constantly. To forget you, to forget you I have to be busy. You didnt like me at all. You didnt like me at all. You dont remember me at all. You dont remember me at all... But still, I miss you.. I dont know why I miss you.. I'm a very cold woman as a woman if it makes sense.. I only express my love to only my love so I think men might think about me I'm very boring women. (If you know what I mean) For me, the meaning of friendship and love between men and women is quite different. I've thought that everyone can be my friends but nobody can be my love easily. Because I used to avoid falling in love with someone for many reasons. But.. you were different. You made me wanna be a better woman. I'm very sad I still cant do anything.. I cant do anything for you. I should have done something for you more than I could be. I really, really hope life treats you well..